Surprise, I'm a jealous person...actually it probably isn't a surprise at all. I've just had a revelation about myself and I don't like it. I've never considered myself a very jealous person, but I think that I've been hiding that from myself by disguising it with excuses such as, "oh this person and I don't get a long well," or "they are weird and I don't understand them." When really I am jealous that this person gets to spend more time with this other person and I don't get to. I don't know if this all makes sense, I'm just pretty disgusted with myself right now. I hate finding out things that I don't like about myself, but I guess the cool thing is that God can totally change that about me! I think I have a lot of praying to do today...and that's not a bad thing.
I wish it was nice outside so I could go for a hike. Or that I had a car I could go for a drive in, I need to find a quiet place to go...
Rated M
15 years ago
4 comments:
I appreciate ur transparency. Ya know, I think most of us struggle with being jealous. I hate that I get jealous. ITs the yuckiest feeling. My ex-boyfriend has had two girlfriends since me and I do nothing but try to find their faults. I saw him the other night and I amped up the flirting and it caused her and him a fight. I don't know why I do that. I hate seeing him w another girl and when I see him (mind you, its been THREE years since we dated) but NEways, I go completely psycho style. I go into one track mind...I can't concentrate on anything else! But that night I went home and felt horrible about myself. I'm THAT girl. I despise that about myself. I don't think about her feelings....I am just focused on mine...and trying to get some sort of approval from him and causing problems. GRRRRR. I feel the same way fawn....
another thing...if you ever want to go for a drive into the mountains (my favorite thing to do esp. when things are crazy) but I'll drive and we can listen to some good music and chill:)
I understand you. It is so frustrating to feel jealous and yet it is so hard to move past. Here is something silly that I am really jealous of. Sadie is Sara's dog. That hurts me and make me really jealous for some reason. I guess because I really wanted a dog and picked her out and then she didnt even end up being mine. That sucks. I guess we all have things that we are jealous of huh?
it certainly isn't fun to have those epiphanies where we realize the sins we normally overlook in our own lives.
since we're all sharing: i'm jealous with my gramparents. i know i'm their favorite granddaughter and it has to stay that way. when any other grandchild does anything with them, i focus on the things my gramparents probably disapprove of to reassure myself that i'm still their favorite. rediculous!
jealousy definitely stems from insecurity. so how can we resolve the insecurity and nip it in the bud?
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